FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Big Tech Company Goes Private at Share Price of $420.69 with Silicon Valley Bank, Funding Secured
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Big Tech Company, the world's premier provider of disruptive AI-powered innovations, announced today that they have secured funding from Silicon Valley Bank to go private at a share price of $420.69. This groundbreaking move further cements the company's position as a trailblazer in the tech industry, revolutionizing the future by disrupting the present.
As the creators of the game-changing AI-powered adtech EchoChamber™️ and AdSearch™️, the only search engine composed entirely of ads, Big Tech Company has successfully automated over 500,000 jobs and attracted more than $300 million in investor funds despite generating $0 in annual revenue. By going private, the company is poised to accelerate its aggressive growth practices and continue to dominate the tech landscape by acquiring all nascent competitors.
Big Tech Company CEO, Alec Foster, stated, "We're absolutely thrilled to partner with Silicon Valley Bank and take Big Tech Company private at $420.69 per share. This bold move will enable us to focus on our true mission: changing the world by disrupting democracy, automating jobs, and colonizing cyberspace. Furthermore, 420 *AND* 69, lol. Suck it, Elon!🖕"
With a suite of paradigm-shifting products like RugPull™️, VoteBot™️, and ThoughtPolice™️, Big Tech Company continues to blur the lines between dystopia and reality, pushing the boundaries of what AI-powered technology can do. The company's commitment to "move fast and break ethics" has captured the attention of investors and customers alike.
In addition to going private, Big Tech Company plans to expand its product line with new offerings such as MindMeld Dreamscape Ad Exchange™️ and TrustBot 3000™️. These cutting-edge innovations promise to redefine the world of advertising, surveillance, and social engineering.
To learn more about Big Tech Company's groundbreaking products and how they are disrupting innovation at scale, visit www.bigtech.company or schedule a demo with one of their expert sales representatives.
About Big Tech Company
Big Tech Company is the world's leading provider of AI-powered technology solutions, designed to change the world no matter the consequences. Their products harness the power of big data and the blockchain to automate jobs, manipulate information, and render personal privacy obsolete. Big Tech Company is committed to breaking boundaries and democracy, and maximizing profits for their investors.
Press Contact: Chad McKaskle Head of Public Relations, Big Tech Company pr@bigtechcompany.com (555) 420-6969
Big Tech Company
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